Vanilla sex is a derogative term that refers to what a society regards as standard or conventional sexual behaviour. Different cultures, subcultures, and individuals have different ideas about what constitutes vanilla sex. Often it is interpreted as sex that does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities.

Among homosexual men it sometimes implies that the activity is non-insertive (i.e. intercrural intercourse, manual stimulation, frottage etc.).

Among heterosexual couples in the Western world, vanilla sex often refers to the missionary position.

An erotic wall painting from Pompeii, adventurous heterosexual vanilla sex.

The term "vanilla" derives from the use of vanilla extract as the basic or most popular flavouring for ice cream, and by extension meaning "plain" or "conventional". Thus, the term "vanilla" is sometimes used as an insult to describe someone who is overly conventional or unwilling to take risks, in both sexual and non-sexual contexts. (The term is not wholly accurate, however, as the concept of vanilla - in ice cream and other foods - can be very flavorful and interesting, and is rarely as bland as the stereotype would indicate.)

Neapolitan is a term proposed to describe the sex life of a person that enjoys "vanilla sex" as well as other "flavours" of sex, such as BDSM. This is presumably coined in reference to Neapolitan ice cream, which has layers of different colors, including a layer of vanilla flavour, rather than being a reference to the inhabitants of Naples.

“Vanilla sex” may also be intended by the user to indicate "Caucasian" in the stereotypical but unfounded belief that such cultures are less sexually adventurous and promiscuous than others. Generally speaking, there is a much broader variance of sexual behavior within individual cultures than between them, and no such stereotype holds up under scrutiny.

The term could also be used to refer to vaginal intercourse, which does have perhaps a backwards folk etymology. Vanilla in English comes from the dimunitive form of the Spanish word vaina, which means "scabbard" or "sheath" — the original meaning of the Latin word vagina.

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